skills for coping with harsh negative judgments about the self, even something like the practice of asking “who profits off of this emotion?”, are not meant to make the experience just go away. they’re meant to interrupt our automatic thought processes, to put some space between us and our programming. they make the cracks which let a little light in.
it took many years of messaging to fill us with shame about ourselves and our bodies, and to indoctrinate us to blame ourselves for failing to meet oppressive standards which we were never given the choice to assent to or reject. it will also take years, and a different kind of messaging, to undo that damage.
the new kind of messaging–like critical-theoretical questions and honest affirmations–can become habitual with time and practice. even then they might not always feel true, tho you know intellectually that they are. it’s okay and in fact very productive to say “i know one thing, but i’m feeling another”. that’s all we can do. it’s this process thru which our sense of self and embodiment moves toward freedom
Tag: dear me
once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!
convincing yourself that you’ll start loving yourself when you do X, achieve X, change X is unfair, and not love at all. you deserve your own full compassion and understanding right now, no matter your body, accomplishments, environment or circumstances
i pray you quit overthinking, replaying failed scenarios, feeding self doubt & seeing the good in everyone but yourself you deserve more
sometimes you’re not gonna have support from anyone. keep going anyway. you’re strong enough to make it.
You deserve every ounce of love that comes your way. Never second guess if you’re worth attention, worth affection, or worth effort. You are beautiful, wonderful, intelligent and admired by many. Your mind constantly analyzes good things, picking them apart until it uncovers a non-existent ulterior motive or backhanded insult. Please, try to allow yourself to accept and appreciate the love.
Instead of separating your behaviors and choices into good and bad categories, you need to learn how to let yourself be a human of many seasons. Respect your natural ebb and flow. Respect that you’re adventurous and you’re also a stick in the mud. Respect that you’re taking a huge leap and you’ll probably miss home often. Make some space for your own longing and ambivalence, and resolve not to treat these as moral failings on your part. Let go of the guilt that kicks up around being who you are.
This is how you’ll stay out of a rut: by letting yourself be a rut-loving motherfucker sometimes. This is how you stay out in the world: by giving yourself the freedom to hide when you really feel like it. Declare your habits acceptable, within moderation. There is not a good way and a bad way of living. You can do anything you fucking like. Use your times of quiet, private laziness to fuel your outgoing, brave bursts of covering new ground. Reward periods of hard work with small indulgences.
Because once you manage to find balance in your life, you develop the ability to savor the work and the reward. You savor the courage andsavor the fear. You’re proud of your toughness and you’re also proud of your ability to remain vulnerable and open in spite of all you’ve been through.
Occasionally you’ll still get a little stuck. You’ll retreat too far into yourself, you’ll indulge too much, and you’ll avoid the world again. Forgive yourself in advance for these things. Allow yourself some space to be human. Sometimes when you try to embrace a rut and really enjoy it instead of fighting it, that makes it easier to get out of a rut. I’ve been noticing this a lot lately. When I find myself strenuously avoiding my work, I try to give myself a little time to relax and be lazy. I try to step back and take in the moment without punishing myself for not being industrious around the clock. I try to be a friendly, forgiving boss to myself instead of a merciless tyrant.
Ask Polly: I’m Starting a New Life, But There’s So Much Pressure to Get It Right!
Action must be applied in order to manifest things in the earth plane. You must engage in actions that are in alignment with your thoughts, dreams, feelings and words. Things don’t magically happen. You can not manifest if your behaviors are contradicting to your hearts desires.
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